The oft repeated word in Indian Politics and elsewhere is Self Respect.
There was a movement in South India which christened itself as Self Respect Movement. The thing about the movement was that it demanded people rebel against status quo instead of questioning it. Questioning would have been an intellectual or a mind job. Rebellion often an emotional mindless act. But sadly despite many self proclaimed scholars and intellectuals of the movement, none demanded fundamental definitions for coinages that mesmerized millions.
What is self respect? We have the dictionary definition here. In general usage, the term is vaguely defined as respect for self. Let’s avoid the spiritual and metaphysical connotations for self. We will relate self to a person here. But let’s ask questions.
How does one get to respect oneself? Is it the same as self esteem and self acceptance? We will try to study and if possible, distinguish.
Self esteem superficially is how we see ourselves as valuable or worthwhile. It’s of specific value.
Self acceptance is an affirmative thing. We accept ourselves not just the valuable, worthwhile, useful part. It also includes non esteemable qualities in us. It’s embracing, unconditional and free of any conditions, qualifications. We accept our limitations, fallacies, failures and these don’t limit our ability to love ourselves. It’s only by liking ourselves and accepting ourselves can we have a better self esteem. Self acceptance is fundamental to complete self esteem. When we stop judging ourselves or stop being hard on ourselves, we can be truly be happy.
Where does Self Respect come in here? There can’t be any self respect without self acceptance as much that there can’t be self esteem without self acceptance. Self respect demands that you understand yourself and accept yourself. Whatever you believe to be of dignity and respect and apply to yourself in your daily living. No self harming and self insults, under any circumstances.
Self respect is about not letting others tell you who you are, who you should be, how you should be or make you feel small by criticisms or trample on your beliefs because it doesn’t match with others. It’s about a sense of freedom. It’s also about respecting others, respect others right to self respect, not hating even haters and ignoring them. Self respect is all about self possession. Emotional, mental possession. Forgiving others and letting go of defeats show a high degree of self respect.
Mahatma Gandhi beautifully said : They cannot take away your self respect if you do not give it to them. Lao Tzu went a step ahead : When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you. Simply put, self respect begets respect.
Did the so called self respect movement teach people to love themselves or propagate self disgust? Did it help them to be dignified in self possession or act as if possessed? Did it teach people to respect others or was reactionary to the events of the times? Did it unify society or divide them? Did it teach them to respect for what they were and move forward or feel dismayed and vent frustration?
There are many questions unanswered.
We will answer all questions. But let me sign off now with a quote of that leader of Self Respect Movement: “I don’t want questioning followers but just sheepish dumb followers”. Can this leader claim to the term self respect in any manner possible?
Our self respect demands that we question the movement if there was mismatch between its ideals, claims and achievements! Shall we?
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