Dowry doesn’t make any news in today’s Indian society. Not any more. Dowry is now part of hindu, Muslim and Christian weddings. But sometimes we do hear about cases of dowry harassment post wedding of the bride’s family by the groom’s family. Feminist organisations shriek men are greedy. Easy to blame, right?
In India the weddings are about two families. Not just about the bride and the groom as elsewhere. Many families use the occasion to flaunt their wealth. The wedding extravagance is supposedly the barometer of deep love for their to be married, kids.
Dowry is money. Wealth. When a bride to be married agrees to a groom who often earns more and hails from a relatively richer family, bride’s family is demanded dowry in various forms. The brides in the name of stability seek richer grooms. Isnt that a form of dowry? Why does girls prefer wealthier grooms? Is any girl willing to marry a poor good boy for just pure love today? Isnt this greed of brides a form of dowry? Or a catalyst for dowry.
Another factor is the role played by the deciding factor of women in Indian marriages. How many mothers and sisters will chose a poorer mate for their sons, brothers, daughters and sisters? To deride men and passing the buck to others is the easiest way to shirk responsibility.
The society comprises of males and females. In today’s material world, wealth is far more important than character and personality. Reason despite handsome salaries and extravagant weddings, divorces are increasing. Dowry is plain greed and process to easy money. Both men and women are equally responsible for social challenges.
My father had refused dowry from his rich father in law, more than half a century ago. A couple of decades ago I heard my mother’s sarcastic comment on my father: “He was penniless and still refused my share of wealth from my father. So I stayed poor”. Valid point from her perspective as her other rich brothers wasted their inheritance on politics, alcohol and women.
Some will say in today’s equal world, everyone should be treated equal. Indira Ghandy once responded : Between which two individuals and between which man and woman? Reality remains that a materialistic world can never bring in equality. Even equality before Law gets vague due to the standards of those who dispense it. Equality is in the realm of Spirituality.
Dowry will remain. It has come to stay. Even the feeble hypocritical hue and cry is dead and gone. Our greed remains. Despite pretensions to the contrary.
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